Getting over it!
Yesterday at my “fairly easy job,” my boss called me up for a powwow to discuss my yearly performance evaluation. It is comprised of 5 categories where you are graded on a scale of 1-4: 1 meaning “below expectations,” 2 - “meets expectations,” 3 - “exceeds expectations,” and 4 - “far exceeds expectations.” I scored a 2 in each category. Of course I disagree with the score and when pressed as to why I’m merely meeting expectations despite the book of training material I created, my ability to move between both job sites, and the fact that I earned two awards for outstanding performance in 2011, he replied that I had plateaued. Where once I was working really hard at streamlining SOP’s and producing training materials (in addition to my normal duties) now I was just coasting. He’s 100% correct of course. Once I realized I was doing 25% of his job for 0% of the credit and no extra pay, I put my energies into accomplishing what I came to San Antonio to do in the first place (www.npsbound.tumblr.com).
I know what you’re thinking—Oh another Gen-Xer with an entitlement attitude complaining about having to put in work to rise up in the ranks—right? Quick background: I get my five year coin next month— I trained my boss after he was hired a year and some change ago. When he goes on vacation or on assignment, I stand in for him. I’m sure there’s a very valid reason I’ve been passed up for promotion twice and I’d love to hear it.
Anywho, needless to say, that 15 minute meeting tainted the next 24 hours. My sour resentful mood followed me home, into my dinner, and then into work later on that night. I bitched to my co-worker (I know, I know. Pray for me) and was exhausted for the rest of the night. I was still seething during my drive home! There was no way I could bring this vibe back into my household.
I need to get over this.
People always tell you to don’t hold grudges, get over it, move on, ect. But I don’t hear any advice as to how. So here are three things that helped me to calm down:
1) Accepting the possibility that I was wrong.
Sometimes we balk at things because there’s a hurtful truth to be found in them. Embrace your character flaw and use that anger to strengthen your weakness.
2) Realizing I had spent entirely too much time on this.
Your time is too valuable to spend in anger. Designate a close friend to vent to. Warn them of the impending bitchfest first, though. Once you get it all off your chest, take a deep breath, and leave it off! Don’t re-hash the same points over and over again trying to demonstrate how right you were. If you were right, it will shine through. If you were wrong, hopefully you’ve chosen your friends wisely enough that they will check you on some nonsense.
3) At the end of the day Love wins.
I swear to you, if no one is dead then it’s not that serious. Nothing is beyond fixing once you learn to forgive.
Good luck and remember it’s okay if you stumble through things, life is practice.